heavy heavy heart.

i hold on to my beer, i do a line, i take a rip, i try not to cry. i loved you, no lies, no bullshit. to be used by you isn't rare i hear, you're a legend in the southside. i knew what i was getting myself into right when i finally sat down beside you, right when you called me your boo, your girl, your favorite. i knew when i saw the name april tattooed on your neck, i knew even then that you were broken. i knew what was happening, but i still held onto you so tight, i still believed that it was different with you and me, that you wouldn't throw me away, that you never said the things you said to me to other girls. i crave you even now, even though i should hate you, even though you made me throw things at my walls and cry into my bed for hours. even though you fucked me up. i've never felt so lost, i've never let somebody break me down before. i dont know what to do with myself.